Well people, I knew it was only a matter of time. The vamps are either getting sloppy with keeping their identities hidden, or preparing to reveal their existence to the world. Each scenario is a bit terrifying, but something about a sloppy vampire is very unappealing. Let's be honest, the only way vampires will be welcomed with open arms is if they look exactly like Rob Pattinson (but with clean hair), wearing a nice Armani suit, and not a sloppy anything in sight. But as I was saying, I've gathered more evidence. I was at a job interview when an employee burst into the room saying there was a bleeding deer in the parking lot. I live in downtown Richmond. What was a deer doing in the middle of the city, except for being the lunch of a hungry sparkle monster?
As I was walking later that day, I couldn't help but eavesdrop on a pair of people standing next to the cemetery. One said a deer was spotted running down the highway, presumably away from a blacked-out sports car (filled, of course, with hungry vampires). The other said that he saw four deer in the cemetery itself. In the cemetery in downtown Richmond. Sure, there's a possibility that there is an overpopulation, but I'd like to ask you: how did the deer get there in the first place? The only obvious answer lies in the history of Hollywood Cemetery. The cemetery is host to The Richmond Vampire, who lives in the grave of WW Pool.
http://lh4.ggpht.com/_9oT_2u35FxU/SOu9vphqI-I/AAAAAAAAABM/Vmy8q14SJNQ/wwpool.jpg
As any proper idiot college kid can tell you, sneaking over the fence at night will get you a one-way ticket to seeing a vampire up close and personal. I've been with 5 people who saw the local legend for themselves, but I guess my eyes aren't ready for the majestic presence of him yet. The locals are obviously supplying the cemetery with deer so he doesn't escape and terrorize my neighborhood. If he did I'd probably invite him in for some TrueBlood and some chill time with my cardboard cutout:
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