...But if I were, WebMD would probably be my best friend.
The symptom checker is so not the coolest thing ever, and totally doesn't make a regular appearance in my day-to-day life.
Except for this one time.
You see, I had a sharp pain in my abdomen, and I was moderately sure I wasn't going to die, didn't have a parasite, didn't accidentally swallow poison, didn't get hit and now had internal bleeding, and/or wasn't growing a tumor that was really my unborn twin. But just to make sure, I went to WebMD.com. When I went to the handy-dandy symptom checker, I discovered that I probably had appendicitis. I always wanted to have a scar just like Madeline's! As I was increasing my horribly lax knowledge base on appendicitis, WebMD spewed forth the worst possible passage for a hypochondriac to read:
"Sometimes the only symptom is a general feeling of not being well and a pain that is hard to describe."
Holy crap, that's me alright, my appendix must be on the verge of exploding
"The pain in your belly may be different than any pain you had before."
Every time I eat spicy food I'm convinced that the pain in my belly (that's a medical term) is different than any pain I've had before.
"It may be severe. Or, it may not seem like a very strong pain, but you may have the feeling that something is wrong."
I'm going to go ahead and assume that any pain at all I feel in my general abdominal area is appendicitis. Now comes my favorite part...
"Trust your instincts."
GOOD LORD, WEBMD, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!?
You can't post something like that on a professional medical website! You've probably started an epidemic of people convinced they have appendicitis! I know I was convinced!
That is, of course, until I realized my pain was on my left side, not my right. I probably just had Thai for lunch.
To see the page in all it's glory: http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/appendicitis-topic-overview
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I seriously have like a 10 second panic attack every time I get a sharp abdominal pain, and I always forget which side my appendix is on. My mom said a good way to tell if you appendix is infected is to jump up and down. Apparently massive pain will ensue if you appendix has turned rotten.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, glad to know you'll get to keep your organs... for now...
oooooh don't tell me that, now everyone will see me jumping at least once a day!
ReplyDeleteI love "a general feeling of not being well." Wait... uh oh... you better call an ambulance, I am pretty sure I have appendicitis.
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