wtf is going on here II?

The questions never end. Maybe it's because I've been awake for far too long today, but chances are it's because these pictures are more of a brain teaser than a sudoku and word jumble and a crossword combined.

I like to imagine that this man entered a Haunted-Exterior-Painted-Mansion-Contest in China, held annually in the forest, right after the Fabulous Beard Contest. What sets his entry apart from all the others are the shrunken tree silhouettes in the windows, and the birthday candles placed ever so gently in the dead, dry, also known as tinder leaves. Sir, your blatant disregard for forest fires is only allowed because you sort of look like Grizzly Adams, and he and Smoky got along pretty well.

I StumbledUpon this one on a Russian website. I'm in the process of learning the Cyrillic alphabet, and I could only make out the title: gigantic marionette. Good thing that was all I could read, because it's totally all I needed to know about these photos. Who cares why Mr. Huge Old Timey Ocean Explorer was even created, where they found trees large enough to carve him out of, or why the gents helping him get his helmet on are all pirates. Somethings that do deserve a bit of attention, however, are his expression and dirty hair. After all, you can't spell Captain Nemo without Captain Emo.

What terrifies me in this photo is that the puppet seems to be more afraid of the boat tipping over and drowning than the people on the boat do.

And this one. The expressions? The bow tie? The NyQuil? The hairdos? Oh, wait. That's just my dad and god father, circa nineteen eighty-awesome.